I started writing a blog in the late nineties, I’ve not been terrific at maintaining a regular posting schedule and when I started, it was more an online diary. I could empty my head of thoughts and move on.
Then people started reading my blog and leaving comments, that was fine, it was quite nice actually, often hearing others say out loud (via their keyboard) what I had only said to myself. Then people I knew started to read it and then I gradually didn’t feel as free to write what I wanted, not only that, I had to remember what I had written because others remembered things better than I did. I am very guilty of writing an entry and then never looking at it again. Sometimes, it is as if the act of writing it down erases it from my memory. So if I never read it again…it obviously didn’t happen.
After a while the alias I had become, the almost real me, if you will, started to take over who I was. People stopped referring to me by my real name, I didn’t care. Then, after a while I did care. I was conflicted. Should I retire the alias? It seemed the easy option but it has felt like what I imagine it must be like to have to have a beloved pet’s life ended by a vet. I just wasn’t ready to say goodbye to those memories, but yet I also didn’t feel comfortable enough adding more because now there were people I actively didn’t want to know the thoughts in my head.
So here is my new home. It wouldn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out who I am but I’m not going to stand on a soap-box and shout it. This is a new chapter in my online diary. If you stumbled upon this, thanks for making it this far.